Saturday, February 6, 2010

Living it Up at the Père Lachaise Cemetery

If you've ever lived in Paris, your apartment was most -likely little more than the size of a shoe-box, which is why I highly recommend faking your death and "dying" here instead to be buried at the Père Lachaise Cemetery. The rent is cheap (cause you ain't paying) but the places are huge. Some of the tombs you'll find here are literally three stories high (see photo left) and would be a sick pad to bring your buddies to. Not to mention you're neighbours will never bother you (unless you believe in ghosts), and you can walk around without any clothes on without anyone saying a word (...more on that later)

Being the largest cemetery in the city of Paris, it is "home" to over 300, 000 bodies. The cemetery was established by Napoleon I in 1804. Created out of necessity on the grounds that the Cimetière des Innocents was becoming over(under?)-populated with dead people (dying was very fashionable at the time) and was presenting a health hazard as it was located on the fringe of Les Halles food market (incidentally this same health hazard led to the creation of the Parisian catacombs which I've yet to vist but fully intend to -stay tuned).

You'll find some very famous and interesting (albeit dead) people here: Oscar Wilde, Gertrude Stein, Moliere, Édith Piaf and the list goes on and on (especially if you know a lot about French culture (which I don't). Most famously tho, if you know little else other than American Pop Culture (i.e. Moi) James Douglas Morrison (AKA Jim Morrison, Wild Child, The Lizard King, The Breaker on Througher, and God of Rock). I must admit tho, visiting the grave site was not as exciting as I had hoped for. I imagined that as I strolled up to it, cigarette and beer in hand, I was going to be welcomed into some sort of psychedelic seance whereupon girls would be throwing their panties onto his tomb and joints laced with acid would be passed around until we all ended up dancing around with our clothes of in the name of Jim. Alas, this was not the case at all. Quite to the contrary, the grave was ambiguously situated amongst colossal tombs, who's beauty greatly overshadowed his tombstone (Merde!). Not to mention, it was blockaded off with fences as if a rock concert was going to breakout at any minute (which is exactly what I was hoping for!!), and the only people paying tribute to him were a teenaged couple, pretending to be sad (did you even know who he was!!!?) and a couple of kids that were far more concerned with the dirt that they were playing with (brats!) then the LEGEND that lay resting a la "Rock n' Roll" right in front of them.

The tombstone itself was pretty bland, and had a latin inscription on it: ΚΑΤΑ ΤΟΝ ΔΑΙΜΟΝΑ ΕΑΥΤΟΥ, literally meaning "according to his own daimōn", and the bust of Morrison, placed in 1981 by Croation sculptor Mladen Mikulin was long gone, stolen by vandals (If you're reading this, PLEASE contact me).

All in all the Père Lachaise Cemetery is a must-see at least once (twice and counting in my case), especially If you need some down time as it is the perfect escape from the very lively city that Paris is. The tombs having a magnificently calming effect on the soul. Shrouded in moss and guarded by crows, it's likely the only specimen you'll encounter is a few sly cats prowling the graves for mice. Speaking of specimen, I almost forgot!!! Remember the part about walking around the cemetery nude? (See above and read MORE carefully if you did forget). Well, last but not least, my catch of the day, getting flashed (First time!! Booya!!). The gentle-man (my nickname for him), seeing that I was fit, not only fully exposed himself to me, but took to pleasuring himself as well! (I hadn't felt that attractive in years!) Needless to say, I too took the opportunity to pleasure myself, as is French custom when one encounters such a situation...Or is that when in Rome? Either way, wonderful way to pay tribute to the dead.

I love you Jim.


  1. Love the pics(but OF COURSE) and the history knowledge that I am learning here from you, plus your talented writing!
    Keep'em coming and keep enjoying!!

  2. Best of luck in Paris buddy, live it up! Great photos as always.


  3. Thank you guys, appreciate the time you took to read my blog, and comment.

  4. Your humour translates Haber! Keep it up! When I lived in Paree Jim's grave was not fenced off and people would lounge around it all day smoking and playing their guitars- very ceremonious. Your photos are lovely, I'm looking forward to seeing more!